Embarrassing Moments #1

Well, I think I've had a few serious posts lately and, now that I have my computer back, maybe I should write some more funny stories. True stories and yes they have happened to me. I've written a few over the last year with housesitting disaster's and put my thinking cap on for some more good ones. Of course, I can laugh at them now but at the time they weren't so funny.

Florida Trip 1997

After my dad had passed away in 95 my mom remarried in the fall of 96. Her husband had a condo in Florida and said that I could go there with my friends any time I wanted. At that time I hung out with two girlfriends (Jen and Lesley) and we would hang out on weekends and dance them away at clubs. Since we wanted to get away for our March Break we decided to take him up on the generous and very affordable offer. We were all college students with not much money and we couldn't afford a flight down there, considered driving but instead we bussed it. Oh ya, 28hrs on a Greyhound from Windsor, Ont to Cocoa Beach, FL was a very long trip.

Now, when we got to the bus depot in Florida we weren't sure how to get to the condo but since my mom's new husband had known people down there he organized for the minister of the church there to pick us up. On our ride to the condo we mentioned in conversation that we didn't have any wheels but he generously offered us his station wagon for the week since him and his family were going away. Sweet! Maybe not the nicest ride but we had wheels and that was awesome!

Our first trip was to the SuperWalmart to pick up groceries and when we were about to drive away we thought we could just drive forward since no one was in front of us in the parking lot. However, we managed to drive over one of those cement blocks and got stuck so the front of the car was sitting on the cement block. I'm not sure how we got it out but we did...and this is the first time I've mentioned it. :D

Now before I get ahead of myself I need to tell you that a few short weeks before I had suffered from a flu bug in which my doctor had prescribed medication. If you know me, you are aware that I'm not into taking meds. I would prefer alternative methods than drugs and so when I was feeling better I stopped taking them. Little did I know that for the flu to be completely out of my system I needed to finish the bottle given.

The beginning of the week was nice and relaxing but as time went on I wasn't feeling so good and my stomach was quite upset. Then it started to hit me. Not like I was throwing up or anything but I had to run to the bathroom every 5 min. Literally. If ever the three of us were about to go anywhere we had to make sure there was a washroom nearby so going to the beach wasn't much fun. Well, there were facilities there but it stunk (no punn intended) to have to sunbathe near the porta-potties. I also gave Jen and Lesley the task of having to turn on all the blow dryers so no one would here me either. Ugh!

The worst of it though was the ride back home. I did NOT know how I was going to make it and we planned our trip by how many stops the bus would make and what kind of trouble I'd be in. I forget the longest stint we had but still it was a pain in the butt. haha Actually, no the worst wasn't the ride back home. The worst of it was getting home. Jen and her boyfriend Mark were dropping me off and I knew that when I got home I could rest up, clean up and get better.

Side note: Before I continue may I suggest to anyone who is giving someone a ride home. Make sure you see them get in the door before driving off. It's a few extra seconds but those seconds could make a world of difference.

Continuing on.....So, Mark and Jen dropped me off and when I got to my front porch I realized that no one was home so I had to start searching for my house keys. After being away for a week I had no idea where I put them in the first place so there I was tearing apart my suitcase and all my belongings trying to find my keys. I thought that was the sucky part until my stomach started churning and knew that I had only a few minutes before I was in deep...er, trouble. Oh boy! What's the deal? Is there a trigger in our bowels or something that knows when we are home and we can barely make it to the washroom? Or is it just me?

The options I had (and at that time I didn't own a cell phone, probably didn't even know what that was) were to continue looking for my keys, go to my neighbours next door with the Italian man who walks around in his backyard wearing blue speedo but you can't see it cause his stomach hangs over so much OR across the street to Joey's house whom I had a huge crush on OR break one of the basement windows. Of course the other option was to go to my old place of work (7-Eleven) on the corner but I REALLY didn't think I could pigeon dance my way down the street with my knees together trying to hold it all in. Time was running short and my options were few and I needed to decide fast!

However......or, rather, unfortunately, I didn't make it. That's right. A grown woman crapped herself in the midst of kicking in the basement window to crawl to the washroom. As much as the idea of a road trip and a free place to stay down in Florida sounds cool I would've rather stayed home. All-in-all it was a pretty 'crappy' trip.

Embarrassing - yes. Funny - now it is. One more story under my belt. I should really write a book.