Faith

I've been thinking about faith lately. In my opinion, I feel that it is constantly 'moving' either having more of it or falling behind. Although I don't think it is non-existant at this point in my life, I do however, feel somewhat complacent with it. Nothing too exciting is happening at the moment (which, to some, would be a good thing) but I guess I feel like I need to work at my faith right now. It's there. I have it yet it's just sort of there. I'm going through the motions I guess.

(It's sort of hard to write down all that I'm thinking because questions keep popping up or analogies and it's hard to have some sort of structure to all my thoughts.)

So, if my faith is sort of 'just there' is that a good thing or a bad thing?
Does there have to be some drama or a situation going on in my life to make it grow?

I guess no matter what the circumstances are in my life I have to continue to work at my faith. I've used an analogy of canoeing to that of relationships and in some ways I think it is similar to faith as well. This is my view on relationships. They are like canoeing. Two people are in the canoe (your relationship with whomever) and it doesn't matter who is in the front or the back because both need to be working together to make the boat move. If one person is doing all the work you might just end up in circles. And when the waters are smooth it doesn't mean you stop paddling. That's the time when you can work together and find out a pattern of what works for you and what doesn't. It's when the waters are rough that it will test your skills of how well you work together.

I guess the analogy can be the same with faith. Just because I may be complacent doesn't mean I need to stop studying or praying (prayer - that's a whole other discussion and struggle I have). This is the time that I can focus on it and not be distracted with the things that are happening (or not) in my life.

Another question or thought.

Why does our faith grow weak when things aren't happening the way we would like it to?
Why does our faith grow stronger when our prayer is finally answered?

It may seem silly to ask such a questions, however, in Hebrews 11 the writer lists the members of the 'Hall of Faith'. They are people in the Bible that lived by faith yet in vs 13 it states that they did not receive the things promised to them. They were only able to see them and welcome them from a distance.

To me, THAT is faith. Faith is having the perserverance and living it out in action even when we may not see the fruits of our labour right at this moment. A part of me wishes I could read between the lines and get into their minds and know that they struggled just as much, if not more than we do. Sure Abraham and Sarah struggled to have a child and it was described in Genesis over the course of six chapters. But, from the time God promised Abraham a child to when Isaac was born was 25 yrs! That's a lifetime to some and we can see the struggle that Sarah had convincing herself that the promise might have been meant for her servant and not her. Yet in those long 25 yrs their faith stood out above all the struggle and it is mentioned in just a few lines in Hebrews 11.

Faith isn't just a feeling but it is an action just the way love is. Trust me, I may see that these people had faith but I don't feel I am living it out in action some times. I have my doubt's about things and feel my faith isn't strong enough or my prayers are sincere enough. But I say that mainly because I feel my requests haven't been answered to the way I would like them to be. Or, I don't know what God is expecting of me. I feel my faith is small because I feel I am at a loss as to what He wants me to fulfill.

Am I fulfilling His will? How do I know? How can I listen to Him to know what He is requiring of me? Maybe I am growing because I'm at least taking the time to contemplate such questions, longing for some answers and desiring to do His will.