I decided to entitle my blog this because I live it, am it and I'm starting to think I know no other way. To be short and sweet about it:
I moved here during the Stampede of 1999 (don't ask me why I decided to move at that crazy time since I had no idea what Stampede was - oy!), since then I've had 9 different places to live (in two different provinces) and have had 9 jobs and now looking for my 10th. Although, to give myself a little bit of credit, I've technically been laid off (now) 3 times so that was more of a forced move. And in regards to my housing situation, I have lived in 3 different places for the main purpose of transition till I would find something permanent (meaning, only being there for one month).
Gosh! The word permanent seems so strange to come from my lips. Permanent? What is permanent? I feel like me moving here has (helped?) change me into someone that needed to learn how to be flexible or teach me like the old hymn states - This World Is Not My Home. I AM just travelling through. I know I like to travel and discover new worlds but maybe I've been living it longer than just this past year with my worldly travel.
I'm just getting used to this 'blog life' and also my writing style so for me to expose myself....well, I'm not afraid cuz if I have something to hide I just won't share it and it can remain in the pages of my personal journal, not for the world to see. Who knows, maybe no one really cares! But with the above statements and facts, I'm really at a loss as to where I am to be.
Obviously this whole losing my job has kicked me into high geer for contemplating what I should be doing and I know I can't carry this on my shoulders as to weigh me down but I am retrospective on this journey I've taken as a whole. Did God build me for constant wondering? and wandering? Did I move around for fear of something? DO I move around for fear of something? I just assumed that I would be married by now and have a family. Not that I've really sat down and imagined it (like some females that have image boards and have picked out their dress and flowers before they found Mr. Right), I just sort of thought that that was the way the norm was and I would follow suit. Am I not the norm? I know people comment on the happenings of my world with travel and such. Trust me, I know I have been blessed to have the opportunities I've had to do the things that I wouldn't have been able to if I were married and with a family.
Do you realize that Moses wandered his whole life? Moses had 3 different settings in life; 40 yrs in Egypt with a family that he wasn't born to but rather found in a basket and taken in by Pharoah's daughter, 40 yrs in Midian where he ran off to (to which he named his first son Gershom, which means 'stranger in a foreign land'), and the last 40 yrs to be the ultimate -wandering in the desert. I wonder if that's why God considered him the most humble man. Moses truly knew what it meant to long for home.
So, what does this all of this confusion mean? Well, I'm still trying to figure it out but I thank God that there are examples like Moses that show me that I'm not alone, people have experienced this before, and if I still feel at a loss I know that God is with me.
3 years ago
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Beck, I and many others are learning that this era is different from the last era. No one these days work at one place longer than 10 years (unless you are mother)and therefore living in one home for that time is also unheard of. We need to accept that that is the way our culture is now. It is not a refelction of your skills or abilities or even your personality, and maybe not even your choices. It is a reflection on our society looking out for it's own selfish cost spending cut backs (in a time when we are more weathly than we have EVER been!). If I were and employer, I would hire you in a minute and keep you for life!
ReplyDeleteAfter all, you are a 'YES' woman!