Lately.....

I can't believe I've been back in Calgary a week already. So much has happened in the last week that it just amazes me what can be accomplished or what can happen in a short amount of time. Thankfully. Seems I've been running short on the patience and at the beginning of the week I was drained before it even started.

When I got back from my trip some things didn't turn out the way I had expected or other things were happening but, regardless of which, I felt I was behind the 8-Ball. I'm not sure if it was a combination of that and the fact that my emotions were high with leaving family and coming back to my home but it seemed a little overwhelming. I couldn't keep the tears from falling and big question marks were coming up for every question that ran through my head. I won't get into specifics one because not everyone needs to know all the details and also.....or two, some times I'd rather just leave that in the past.

The things I have learned from my little episode is that I have loving friends who will be there for me and help me out when I feel I'm running on empty. I've also learned more about the relationship I have with God. In asking the age-old 'why' question to God with fists raised to the ceiling I've had the attitude of 'why is this happening to me' or 'when will it be my turn'. However, this time my attitude was more of knowing that my time is coming, its just not right now or the fact that I need to rely on God and have stronger faith more than ever. As much as I was crying my heart out with all this uncertainty I had a sense of peace knowing that God was there and this is another trial I need to overcome to reach another level of intimacy with God.

Lately I've been repeating to myself a phrase that I try to keep in the forefront of my mind. It's not the trial itself that is the challenge but it's how you handle it that helps you have a better understanding of what the outcome will be. The outcome may not be what you wanted but the greater challenge is your attitude towards the answer. Or, I may not understand why things are happening in my life the way they are but regardless of that, I know that I need to keep my focus on God and have a stronger faith that He will get me through it.

To be honest, there were some things that were happening financially and I wasn't sure how things were going to get done but with a little bit of prayer and humility things are on their way of working themselves out. All I know is that I can only do my best and keep God first in my life, live for Him and serve others and He will take care of tomorrow.

Don't tell God how big your storm is, tell the storm how big your God is.