Burn out

Burn out. That's what I'm feeling. I'm definitely running on fumes. I guess I know where my threshold is/was and know that I can't go at the speed I was before the holidays. I've been doing so much, working so much and I haven't had much time to relax. Well, for me to catch up on sleep will take me a week at least. For me to chill and do nothing will take me a good 2 - 4 weeks. I have no one to blame for this but myself.

I remember a few years ago someone asking me if I've always been a 'people pleaser'. I never realized I was till they pointed it out. Not that I learned from it, in fact, I think its just gotten worse. Granted, I like helping people. My problem is that I've extended myself so much I feel I have nothing left. Today I was asked twice to do some things and I flat out had to turn them down. Baby steps.

There was a Hawaiin minister I heard once and he spoke about burn out and how we need to fill our tank as well. If we don't and we continually give then we will be empty. I also remember a few years ago one of my co-workers had to take a leave of absence from work because he was burnt out. His threshold was when he collapsed in his office at work, not even 15ft from my desk. I couldn't see it but I could hear the EMS come in and take him out on a stretcher. I think he was out for a good few months.

I refuse to get to that point. I can't. But I better do something now. So, don't be offended when I can't 'offer my services' any longer. It's the age old phrase: 'It's not you, it's me.' And that's the truth.

Today I need to focus on me.