Dear Spa Lady

I saw you in the mall today. You usually show up around this time of year to see if people will join your facility. When I walked by you I didn't realize that you would ask me again. Don't you know me?? I wanted to pretend I didn't see you and you would go away but you are stuck in my head. I want to apologize for ignoring you even though you were so kind.

The truth is, with me ignoring you I'm saving your time and mine. I wish I could just give you a cheque for the 3-year commitment I would make but never actually show up. As much as we both would like to rendezvous together I know that it won't happen on a regular basis. For that to happen you will need to be like Jillian Michaels on The Biggest Loser.

So, alas, let us go our separate ways and when I'm not working my twelve hour days and three jobs and can stay at home because I found my sugar-daddy I will gladly have the wonderful affair that would take place.

Till then, best of luck ....for both parties.

Your Arch Nemesis